Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Life's Cruel

    If there's one thing I do know, it's that anytime I blog will be the times when I have to rant the most. Well today's subject is "Life's Cruelity". When I started blogging, I planned to blog just about everyday. I found out that blogging on how I felt was a major stress reliever. So, today, I'm blogging about everything that happened yesterday. I may not be able to finish this blog today, I'm doing each portion of this in bits and pieces. So if the blog ends here, then be expecting more to be written later.

   So continuing from where I left off, yesterday was a very emotional day. I don't know where to start. I got pulled out of class unexpectedly the other day, only to await the news of my grandma passing away. I'm taking this week to mourn, but not in a bad way. I want to remember her for all the good times that we had. She was one that mended the family together. I just want to say that I am so very fortunate to have a grandmother like her, that loved her family so much and so very affectionate towards us, she never let us forget how much she loved us. I hope she left this earth knowing how much all of us loved her. Her passing did not just affect those in her family, but friends as well. Ever since January of this year she was struggling to stay alive for as long as she possibly could. I'm happy she no longer has to suffer from all the pain she had to endure, but all of us will truly miss seeing her face, hearing her laugh, and feeling the warmth of her embrace. It's hard to accept the fact that you're gone since you've been with us for so long. But your son and my dad, I know, will take good care of you while your no longer here with us, and we will take care of grandpa. It's unbelievable how someone could be here with you one day and then gone the next. I'm happy I got to see you one last time before the day you passed, even though I didn't get to hear your voice because you were sleeping. I love you so much. You and grandpa were the only family I had left here...I wish I could go back in time. But unfortunately, there's no stopping the inevitable, God has bigger plans for you...R.I.P Grandma (May 3rd, 2011) You will truly be missed. :..(

Monday, May 2, 2011

Truly Inspirational

       If you haven't watched the 1 Litre of Tears television series yet, I highly recommend that you do. It's a true story about a girl who was diagnosed with an incurable degenerative disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration at the age of 15, it shows all of the struggles that she had to overcome. There is never a dull moment. If you're a really emotional person, like me, you'll cry every episode. You can find all the episodes on translated in English, if you must. This J-dorama is so inspirational to me, it made me realize that my life is not as difficult as those out there with an incurable disease, struggling to survive every waking moment of their lives. To Kitō Aya herself, arigatou for making me a better person, and arigatou for being so strong despite your disease and fighting through it and inspiring others to continue on living their lives even though your time was cut too short. You were truly a strong individual. R.I.P (July 19, 1962 – May 23, 1988)

 "I really don’t want to say things such as “I want to go back as how things were before” . I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on."

Relationships Suck!

      Okay, so I know that I'm not the only person to openly admit that it is jealousy of other peoples' relationships, seeing others get hurt, or just getting hurt alone that makes me thrive to stay out of a relationship. But there comes a time when you just become sick of being single all together and ready to bust out and mingle (lame! I know). But seriously, am I the only person that finds themselves having a real sh*tty judge of character!? Continuing off from my last blog when I said "people need to focus more on the type of person they deserve and less on the type of person they want to be with," but it seems like even the type of guys I think I deserve are turning out to be major a**holes just like all the rest. I have standards just like every other girl in this world (hopefully) to know what kind of guy I want. But recently, I've noticed that my standards are pretty high. My Mr.Perfect might as well be in his mid 80's. Hopefully, I am not the only person to notice that most guys nowadays only want one thing in relationships and that is, what I like to call the "anger bang." What happened to the good 'ol days when guys were faithful and getting married as virgins and pure. (I probably sound pathetic to some people right now), but everyone in this world (hopefully, once again) feels as if there is one person in this world that they were destined to be with. They may not be with you now, but they will sooner or later. Patience is the key. And to those who have actually found Mr. or Mrs. Right, Kudos. I hope my Mr.Right comes galloping to me soon on his majestic steed.

Recent Feelings

     I remember when I was younger that I use to be the kind of person that felt dependent on being in a relationship. With relationships came a lot of drama, therefore, I dropped all ties of finding anyone that I may be "destined" to be with. I started having feelings of wanting to become more independent, and something that you learn when you decide that you may as well be better off by yourself, is that you're a lot stronger than you'd ever thought you'd be. It's a great feeling. Being independent, you start realizing many mistakes that you've made in the past. I learned that in the past, I was the type of person to focus on the type of guys that I wanted, and less on the type of guys that I deserved. Nobody's perfect. We've all made mistakes whether we like it or not. In order to progress in life, we have to make mistakes, but most importantly, we need to learn from them. There's no progression if we always make the same dumb mistake and do not learn from it, ex: being attracted to an a**hole of a guy/girl,etc. Relationships are nice to have, but recently, I feel as if relationships are just another thing to stress about. If you don't agree, I apologize, I don't mean to offend you, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I will continue to blog about this later on in the day because as of right now, I'm at school blogging, when I should be finishing work on Ecology (yay for procrastination!). Also, feel free to leave a comment on this blog. I would be more than happy to reply to it.